Granny Hooks A Crook (Fuchsia, Minnesota)
File Size: 294 KB
Print Length: 200 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1939816122
Publisher: Cozy Cat Press (July 10, 2013)
Granny leads a secret life in the small, unique community of Fuschia, Minnesota. It’s not just her all junk food diet, multiplying pets, or her shocking bedtime attire that makes Granny one in a million. No, Granny is an undercover cop, charged by “the Big Guy” (the town’s police chief) of preventing theft in local stores. Granny takes her job seriously and daily foils many shoplifters using her trusty spiked umbrella and amazing acting skills. When some startlingly brazen burglaries begin to occur that Granny can’t solve, along with mysteriously appearing bad guys, disappearing clerks, and misplaced Corvettes, Granny begins to wonder if she isn’t ready for the wrinkle farm. Maybe, it’s fortuitous when she accidentally-on-purpose falls in the lap of an attractive older gentleman who is soon roped into her wild adventures, as they try to figure out what’s happening in their little town.
This was a really lite an whimsical story, I absolutely loved it. If you are looking for a lite, quick, fun read, then this is definitely the book for you. Granny is definitely not your typical "granny". She likes to sleep in sexy lingerie and read Fifty Shades of Gray, all without her three children, Penelope, Starshine, and Thor, not knowing. She lives in the town of Fuschia, MN. This is just such a quirky and fun read. But Granny is also works undercover for the stores in the town "hooking crooks". Is she losing her mind and does she need to be sent to the wrinkle farm when she starts seeing a good looking young man that disappears and things that have been stolen from around town starts showing up at her house. I recommend this book, it will lessen your stress, for sure. Great job Julie, can't wait to read more about Granny and the whimsical town of Fuschia, MN.
I received a complimentary copy of this book for my honest review.
About The Author
Julie Seedorf owns her own computer repair business, but her secret undercover job is writing. Her column “Something About Nothing” for a Minnesota newspaper is about nothing, which is what we talk about most of the time, always with something underneath the conversation. Julie has been a wife, mother, grandmother, housewife, barmaid, salesperson, activity director, full time volunteer and more. Her motto is, “If you dream it, you can do it.” Her Fuchsia Minnesota, published by Cozy Cat Press is her first journey in her undercover career. Having lived in small communities in Minnesota all her life, she knows the richness and uniqueness that only a small town can bring and with a little humor and imagination, she transforms those experiences into her imaginary Fuchsia community.Webpage: http://www.julieseedorf.com,
Goodreads: Julie Seedorf,
A Book Excerpt
Granny didn’t always like to get up in the morning. It seemed a waste of a good bed to get out of it so early in the morning. First, Granny would wallow in the warmth. She would squirm a little and enjoy the softness of the mattress. Granny would then open one eye to see if it was light yet. If it appeared that the sun was up, she would open the other eye very slowly, not wanting to get too excited. Getting up too fast always made her head spin.
Granny would then stick her big toe out of the blanket, trying to determine the weather. Her big toe was a good barometer. If it started turning blue, she knew it was cold and her toe was going to throb on and off for the day. If it stayed red, Granny knew that it would be a good day for her flip flops, even though she wasn’t supposed to be wearing them. Her kids harassed her about wearing her flip flops, something about not walking properly and being at risk of falling. She couldn’t make them understand that at her age she was always at risk for falling, so why not live dangerously in her flip flops.
Granny always looked around first before attempting the final lift out of her bed. She had to make sure there weren’t any kids or grandkids visiting before she threw off the covers. At her age it was easy to forget if her kids and grandkids had stayed over. Occasionally, she forgot they were there even before she climbed into bed. It didn’t bother her that her memory was a little foggy. It was a good excuse to use when she needed to get out of something she didn’t want to do, or if she got caught somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be.
Usually, if Granny remembered before she went to bed that her kids and grandkids stayed over, she would dress in her granny gown pajamas. It was what they expected of someone her age and she didn’t want to ruin their expectations. But when Granny was by herself, she occasionally slept in the nude and occasionally she wore her hot pink, silk shortie nightgown with red hearts on it. Or she might wear her purple leather PJ’s that stated Sexy Granny and I Know It.
Granny’s secret PJ’s always made her smile before she went to bed. It made the creaky body and the saggy skin feel better. She still felt like that sexy granny inside. Her mind never did keep up with her body.
There were times her kids would visit unexpectedly in the morning and have breakfast waiting for Granny when she stumbled into the kitchen from her warm bed. She could see the horror on their faces if they caught her in anything other than her granny pajamas. She would be sent to the wrinkle farm faster than she could lose her flip flops.
I AM NOT A LISTER BUT A CHAOTIC ORGANIZER
I am not a list person. I should be. I have tried to be but I have failed. I am sure if you looked inside my head you would find those lists but you would have to put the list together, because the items on the list would be floating in all directions.
A couple of weeks ago I decided to make to do lists for each day. I had beEn multi-tasking and zipping from one task to another, trying to cover all the bases of my business, my writing, my household and taking care of me so that I stay healthy. There was a place on the list for phone calls, errands, correspondence, projects and miscellaneous tasks. I put this together on my computer so I could change it each day.
The first day I tried it, it worked very well. I was able to check off everything on the list except for writing and prayer and meditation. The next few days the same thing happened. It appeared that this list was working except for those three items. Why was it so hard to get to those when I had been doing them in my chaotic days? There now was an order to my day. A strange thing happened, I was having a harder time getting up in the morning when my alarm clock kitties would scratch on my door. I was having a harder time walking into my office. I was having a harder time answering my office phone (I own my own computer repair business).
Of course I knew, I was missing the important elements of my list, writing and meditation and prayer. For some strange reason, with this list each day that brought order to my life I didn’t feel like writing and I didn’t feel like praying the spontaneous prayers that often pop out of my mind. What was happening to me? I was organized but I couldn’t find anything. I was getting my office and business work done but I couldn’t come up with an idea for my weekly column. My house was cleaner, which made my husband happy, but the creative juices were gone. I had been driving myself crazy with my multi-tasking and my disorganization but there was life and energy in that craziness and now it was gone.
One of the reasons I felt I needed to do the list thing was the fact that at times I forgot to call people back. There were times I was paying my bills at the last minute in my fractured multi-tasking. There were times I forgot to eat which didn’t harm my weight any because the size 12’s became the size 10’s. But now in spite of the calm organization and clean office and house, I felt less peaceful and more anxious.
Then I read a quote by Tom Barret that says “Chaos in the world brings uneasiness, but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth.” That was it. The chaos in my life that had me multi-tasking and doing different things at one time fed me. My creativity thrives in chaos.
For the most part of my adult life I followed what was expected of me and hid the inner creativity, because it wasn’t understood in my world. I had finally learned to quit hiding me, and I found the words, no matter how silly, flowing on paper with my books and my columns. I felt alive and accepted that not all people would like me, or my writing, or my crazy decorating techniques in my home. I will never have what most people call a tasteful home.
Chaos again rains in my home and office. I can find the work order I need in the middle of the pile. The words, ideas and prayers are flying out of my head. I warned my daughter one day when we were having lunch that I was a little distracted and to expect me to babble about one thing and then a different thing, because the creativity was steaming out of my brain. It’s my creativity. Others might call it silly. Others might not understand it. The things I do and write about might not sell but it doesn’t matter as long as I am experiencing life with imagination, joy and hope.
I am accepting that lists don’t work for me. They stifle something inside of me. I am accepting that this is who I am. It is who God made me to be and it is ok. There is room in this world for all of us.
I did buy a book of lists. It is called Lists to Live By, The Second Collection compiled by Alice Gray, Steve Stephens and John Van Diest. I enjoy other people’s lists and this book. I enjoy it because they are not my lists and I can pick and choose which I read or like on any given day. I never follow a whole list, that would be too organized but I choose one or two that speak to my heart. There is one list in this book that I would follow. It is called “10 Rules To Live By”. My favorite rule is number 1 and it is one thing on a list that I will follow every day. Number One: Count Your Blessings.